A list of my ‘fallen’ friendships and why it didn’t last.
Last Updated on: 28th June 2023, 02:50 pm
Aside from doing my usual work, this quarantine has led me to remember some of the fallen friendships I’ve had in the past. Last week, while I was cleaning out my drawer, I saw my old diary and it was funny and sad at the same time while reading my entries. I even wrote about my first period, my fight with some random kid (LOL) and other random stuffs. My diary was a witness to my childhood up to my high school days- to my first heartbreak, memorable moments, and of course those fallen friendships that brought out the worst and best in me.
- A ‘Fallen’ Sisterhood.
She was my first best friend and the first person i considered as my ‘sister’ that is not by blood. We became close instantly- maybe because we both have the same sense of humor and loves having a good time. I also remembered that we had the same diary design since we bought it in the same store, and she loves the color yellow so much. However, she became close to another friend of mine and I’ve become jealous of them. I know, it’s kind of stupid and childish but it really happened and I regretted it so much. I even accused both of them of as a “user” friend and backstabbers! Of course, a huge fight happened and the whole class even found out about it. I truly felt sorry for both of them, especially to my best friend, but she didn’t forgive me. Since then, I used to sit all alone during recess and lunch breaks and my classmates began to make fun of me because of it. Not to mention that I was so aloof and ugly back then- I was one of the class outcasts. It was truly a worse experience for me and I can’t believe that at a tender age of 12, I experienced losing a friend.
However, that experience taught me how to value friendship and lead me to my high school friends- which is still my friends up until today! The last time I talked to her was during my first year in High School – she already had a clique of her own. She’s the one who approached me (I was so shocked at that time) and at last, she finally forgave me. Although our relationship didn’t go back to the way it was before, I’m still thankful that I got to befriend someone like her, and I learned a lot from her. She’s got a family now, and I wonder if she still remember our friendship. Well, I guess I’m happy that both of us are in the right place and we deserve it!
2. A’ fallen’ childhood clique
Some of the things I’m really grateful about is having a happy and unforgettable childhood- and it’s all because of Ironberks 🙂 That’s the name of our clique, which we got from our street’s name, “Ironbark” and “Berks” is from the word “Barkada“, which is the tagalog term for clique. It’s not your typical group of friends- we also have an election for officers, have a Christmas party every year at our house, and we always perform a dance number during parties!
That’s how fun and crazy our friendship was. We even had a huge fight on who must be the president of our group (EVERYONE wants to be the president) and we always play outside – from hide and to seek to ghost hunting, etc. Because of them, I learned how to socialize and they are my first group of friends. However, like most childhood friendships, we started to grow apart. As soon as I graduated from High School, we didn’t play in the streets anymore since we are already busy with our studies and we have new set of friends. Our last Christmas party, as what I’ve remembered, was last 2008. I didn’t know that it would be our last party- and last bonding as a group and thinking about it makes me miss my childhood more. That was my first realization that not all friendships are made to last forever since time will come that we will have our own separate lives. Our friendship may be over, but not the memories – I know that it will stay with me for a long, long time.
3. A ‘fallen’ high school friendship.
Like what happened with the Ironberks, the reason for this fallen friendship is growing apart. However, our back story was quite interesting before she became my friend. She’s my classmate when I was in grade school and I remembered that we are not really close and I used to think of her as a snob. To top it off, my crush back in 3rd year high school had a crush on her during our first year in high school! (whoa i forgot about all of this till last week, when i read this in my diary. IT WAS MINDBLOWING hahaha)
Fast forward to our 4th year in high school, she was my classmate again. This time, I was thankful that we became classmates, because I gained a new friend! We both love k-dramas and we have the same Oppa crushes from the k-dramas we watched! Not to mention that we shared a lot of secrets and fun too- we also befriend another classmate (which is still my friend until now) and boom! the three of us are inseparable since.
When we graduated in high school, we still keep in touch until College. The last time I saw her was i think, during her debut party last 2011. After that, she never attended to our barkada reunion every year, and her reason is always because “she’s busy” or she will attend to an important event. She still greets me during my birthday, however our communication is not the same as before. It was kind of unexpected that our friendship will lead to this, since we are so close before and I shared many things about me to her. I really hope that I would see here again, probably after this quarantine.
Lessons I’ve learned
As a person who values family and friendship over anything, these experiences honestly broke me in the past. However, these ‘fallen’ friendships also brought out the best in me. I was able to grow, met new people and eventually gained new friends. Looking back on those days makes me realize how lucky I am to experience being friends with them, and somehow sharing a part of me to them. I now realized that despite of all the wrong things I’ve committed in my life, I can proudly say that I am a good and loyal friend 🙂
How about you? Do you also have ‘fallen’ friendships like mine? If yes, how did you overcome them? Share your thoughts below!
