31 life lessons I’ve Learned at 31 Years old

Last Updated on: 19th June 2024, 03:41 pm

Last May, I turned 31, and it seems like I was only 21 yesterday. Looking back, I realize that a lot has changed, especially my outlook on life, career, and relationships. Through all the experiences I’ve had in the past years—good or bad, I learned many life lessons that are still with me today. Here are 31 life lessons I’ve learned at 31 years old.

1.Enjoy your childhood years- don’t rush to grow up.

I’m thankful my childhood was full of fun and laughter, but before, I took it for granted. I was always looking forward to being an adult, thinking my life would be easier- but of course, I was wrong. Our childhood only happens once, so live in the moment and spend more time with your friends, because eventually you will all grow apart.

2. Never give in to peer pressure.

There’s a saying that if you live your life pleasing others, you’ll die from their rejection. I learned this the hard way, especially during my teenage years. I get it—we all want to be part of something, but losing yourself in the process is not worth it, and it will just bite you back. Be who you are; I promise you, the right people will come, and you’ll never need to prove yourself.

3.Self-confidence is a journey, not a goal.

It just doesn’t happen overnight- it’s a process. Sometimes, you’ll feel insecure and think you’re not good enough, which is normal. We need to remind ourselves that we are imperfect, and gaining confidence means embracing our flaws and taking responsibility for them, not denying them.

4.Motivation and discipline must go hand in hand.

You shouldn’t just rely on motivation to achieve a goal because it’s fleeting. You must be disciplined, too, which means being consistent in your actions.

5.Every rejection is just a redirection.

When I started as a designer, I faced a lot of rejection, and I took it as a sign of giving up and changing my career. But I’m glad that I trusted the process and realized that all those rejections redirected me to the right job, and I’ve been stable in my career ever since. For every loss, you’ll always gain something- may it be a lesson or something you’ve always wished for. It might be a blessing in disguise, too. So once you face rejection, accept it, learn from it, and move on.

6.Good attitude leads to achievements.

When I retook my failed subject in college and passed it with a high grade, my friends jokingly said that I got smarter at math, but they were wrong. I passed the subject because I changed my attitude- I became consistent in studying, avoided distractions, and motivated myself. I realized that having a good attitude helps you achieve your goal and produce long-term results. Since then, I have gotten higher grades in my other subjects and have successfully finished my course.

7.Confidence will take you far in life.

I’ve seen many people who are not that expert on what they do achieve great things, and they all have one thing in common – confidence. I truly believe that confidence is the foundation of success because no matter how smart or talented you are- if you are not brave enough to try, you’ll get stuck in life. Confidence is the reason why I’m pursuing my passions today and making a living out of it. If I’m not crazy enough before to try, then I’ll be forever stuck in that office job I hate. Don’t overthink about doing something – just do it

8.For every first time, there will always be a failure.

Achieving perfectionism kills growth and learning. I’ve always thought procrastination was the only reason I was stagnant before and not accomplishing anything. It’s the fear of failing too – which is absurd because when we try something for the first time, we are bound to make mistakes. Once I let go of this mindset, things finally started to happen. I’ve experienced a lot of failures, yes – but that’s what life is. There’s a lot of trial and error we need to experience before we achieve our goal. So don’t be afraid of making mistakes, especially when starting at something. Be kind to yourself- accept your mistakes and learn from them.

9.In friendships, it’s always quality over quantity.

Having many friends doesn’t mean all of them are your friends. You need to spend a lot of time with someone to recognize if he/she is truly your friend- and it’s impossible to do that if you have a lot of friends. I realized that a person’s attitude is different when she’s in a group and when you’re alone with her. Take time to get to know someone- her hobbies, morals, and character. If you just let people in your circle easily, you’re just looking for a companion-not a friend.

10. Being alone is powerful.

In my culture, where being individualistic is seen as “weird” and unacceptable, standing up for yourself is a challenge here. Here in the Philippines, and mostly in other Asian countries, being alone is equivalent to being sad or antisocial – there’s no in-between. It’s a defect rather than an asset. That’s why I’ve met too many people who have no real sense of identity, and most of the time, they take others’ personalities just to fit into society. I’ve fallen victim to this before, and it did more harm than good to me. When I started to spend more time alone, that’s when I finally reclaimed my power back. I found the right job for me, discovered new hobbies, improved my self-awareness, and removed toxic people from my life. So when I say that being alone is powerful- believe it.

11.Being successful at something means taking risks.

The road to success is never easy—it’s always challenging and unpredictable. If you truly want to succeed, stay out of your comfort zone, take risks, and know that not everything may go your way. For me, failing has more chances of helping me succeed than not trying.

12. Beware of people who constantly gossip about other people.

Because 100%, they are talking shit about you too. I’ve witnessed this in my workplace before, and unfortunately, I have become a victim of these people. Once you encounter those nasty gossipers, RUN.

13. Always listen to your intuition- it never lies.

This happened when I was starting my first job in a mall. I was an HR assistant, and I thought that working there was “living the dream” because I was working in the most famous mall in my country. Boy, was I wrong.

I met our HR manager, whom I initially thought was among the nicest people I’ve known. During the first few weeks, she was so sweet—always giving me compliments, sometimes over-the-top. She also gave me free food during lunch and was so soft-spoken. However, I had this gut feeling that something was off about her—that I should not trust her. That’s the thing with intuition—it has no logical explanation; you just feel it.

Turns out, she was talking shit behind my back, and as time went by, she began showing her true colors. I think I triggered her “real” self when I didn’t accept her small favors, which were out of my job scope. My officemates felt sorry for me because they too, had fallen victim to her sweet persona. That job took a toll on my mental health, and it was more frustrating since it was my first job. After 3 months, I decided to resign. I cannot work in an environment like that, and it was a miracle that I lasted that long.

There are many instances in which I have not listened to my intuition, and I genuinely regret it. But I’ve learned my lesson now. We all have intuition, and we should use it. According to a study, those who work on developing their intuition can make better, faster, and more beneficial decisions.

14. Envy doesn’t get you anywhere.

It will send you into a downward spiral, and you’ll never feel good enough. Instead of working on your goals, you’ll keep comparing yourself to everyone, thus preventing you from making things happen. It’s normal to feel jealousy sometimes; it’s a human emotion we can’t control. But we can overcome it by looking up to those we perceive as above us and being inspired by them. Because if they can succeed – then so do you.

15. Life is not a competition. We all have our own timeline.

Comparing yourself to others is pointless—each of us is built differently. I used to do this before, but then I realized why do I need to model my life after someone else? This is my life, and I’m the writer of my own story. Our lives don’t need a template—let’s live them how we want them to be, in our own terms, and in our own way.

16. Mind over matter always.

Sometimes, we forget how powerful our minds are. I’ve faced many challenges before, and there were times when I listened and gave in to those negative voices in my head: ” You’re not enough! ” or ” Don’t try; you’ll end up failing.” And yes, I ended up failing. My performance at work was affected, and I had little to no social life. Just like that, my life became a mess.

But I woke up. I realized that having a negative mindset will get me nowhere, and if I want something to happen, I should think it will happen. Slowly but surely, I got back on track, and now here I am, working in a job I’ve always wanted and pursuing my passion.

17. Your health is your greatest investment.

Health is wealth. I know it sounds cliche, but health is the greatest investment you should have. Before, I had a weak immune system, to the point that I used sick leaves more than my vacation leaves. It had a major impact on my work and my mental well-being – it was a nightmare, I’ll say. Put your health above anything else- stay fit, eat a healthy diet, and take your annual checkups. Prevention is better than cure – a healthy lifestyle should be your top priority.

18. At work, only give what is expected of you- don’t go overboard.

Because if you do, you’ll be susceptible to burnout and abuse. Before, I always gave my all at work, and it felt good. I thought I was an asset to the company, and it flatters me whenever my bosses or colleagues praise me. But it took a huge toll on me, and I noticed my workload got heavier, but my salary and compensation stayed the same. When I realized what was happening, I decided to resign. Right now, I still give my 100%, but only based on what is expected of me and the compensation they give me.

19. Don’t overshare about what’s happening in your life, not even to your friends.

You probably know the term “evil eye.” The “evil eye” refers to a gaze or glare, usually driven by envy or malice, that can cause bad luck or harm to the person it targets. That’s why I keep silent when I have plans or achievements; not everybody is happy or concerned for me. The worst scenario is that some people, even your friends or loved ones, secretly pray for your downfall. It doesn’t mean you need to be closed off- just be selective when sharing something about your life.

20. Trust the process. Patience is the key.

I’ve been the type of person who gets anxious about the future. What if this won’t work out in the end? However, I realized life is all about living and enjoying the journey, not the destination. The road to success is not a straight line; setbacks are part of the process. I realized that embracing this mindset has made me more resilient and open to exploring other opportunities, which led me to a happier and more fulfilling life. Always trust the process!

21. Travel while you can.

I’m lucky that I was born with parents who love traveling, and honestly, you can learn a lot when you travel. You get to experience other cultures/traditions and meet new people, broadening your perspective of life and embracing diversity. Travel also motivates you to try something you’ve never done, which can boost your confidence and problem-solving skills. So, while you’re still young and have the means to travel, do it!

22. When someone shows their true colors, believe it. Don’t try to change them.

This is another life lesson that I’ve learned the hard way. During my younger years, I always play the role of “saving” people. I’ve always attracted broken friends and tried to fix them. I thought that if I didn’t give up on them, then maybe they would change. But no. It’s not my job to fix them because only they have the power to change themselves.

I’ve also witnessed this in romantic relationships. My ex-friend, who has a cheating boyfriend, still stayed in the relationship in the hopes that one day he’ll change. Guess what? He didn’t, and actually, he became worse- he started to abuse my friend financially. Unfortunately, my friend still stayed, and while I tried my best to change her mind and gave her the reality check, it didn’t work. She cut ties with me, and that ended our friendship.

Everyone deserves a second chance, but unless the person is willing to change, then the relationship won’t work. Sometimes, those who need saving can only save themselves.

23. A strong and wise person takes responsibility- a weak person always plays the victim.

While there are things we can’t fully control, I believe we have the power to choose what’s right and wrong for us. Consistent self-pity is just avoiding responsibility and taking away our power. Based on my experience, those who self-victimize often tend to have strained relationships and keep missing opportunities. I know this because I used to be one, and I promised myself I wouldn’t return to that phase again. Taking responsibility and working on yourself is the key to overcoming challenges and becoming successful.

24. A high self-worth is the most powerful weapon you can have.

When you value yourself, the rest will follow. I didn’t realize its power until it was the only choice I needed to make. When you know your worth, you attract high-quality people and experiences. You won’t settle for less because you don’t rely on external validation. And the best part? You’ll feel good about yourself and have a sense of purpose because you know you matter. That’s how powerful having a high self-worth is.

25. Mistakes are not something to be ashamed of; it’s a proof that you are trying.

It’s better to make mistakes than sit in a corner—it means you’re out there doing something. When you struggle for perfection, you’re not allowing yourself to learn and truly live life, which is unfair. You deserve to learn, experience, and grow; making mistakes is part of that. Mistakes are not a hindrance but rather a stepping stone for us to achieve our dreams.

26. You can be honest while still being respectful

This is true, especially when you’re arguing with your loved ones and they’re in the wrong. I’m always trying to be honest—sometimes too honest—that I said hurtful things that are already disrespectful. Truth hurts, but you can still be respectful and not diminish someone just because he/she made a mistake. We’re all human beings; we are not perfect, so let’s not forget to be kind even in arguments.

27. When it comes to money, always think twice.

I have lived by this phrase since childhood, when our parents taught us to be financially responsible. I’ve already witnessed many people getting scammed online and investments that are too good to be true, and one family I know was almost destroyed because they were already deep in debt. Everyone wants to be rich; I mean, who doesn’t? I’ll be a hypocrite if I say that money doesn’t matter- but it doesn’t mean we need to be reckless. Being practical is not just an asset these days- it’s a trait we must remember and live by. So before you buy or invest in something, always think twice.

28. It’s better to be single than to settle less.

I can’t stress this enough. Being single is 100 times much better than being stuck in a toxic relationship. I’ve always hated our society since they conditioned women to pursue romance, and getting a man is a priority. Women, especially “old maids,” are shamed for choosing themselves instead of settling down. Because of this mindset, I’ve witnessed a lot of women getting abused by their partners; sadly, some of them are my previous friends. I’ve seen them cry every day in the hopes that one day their boyfriend will change, and after all the advice I’ve given to them, they end up going back to their pathetic boyfriends. The worst part? They cut me off, and it’s heartbreaking to lose a friend just because of a guy.

Since then, I’ve promised myself I won’t be like them and never settle for less. Is it lonely? Yes. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but one thing about loneliness is it is fleeting and never lasts. But staying in an abusive relationship? Once you get in, it’s difficult to get out. So unless I meet a guy who passed my standards, I’ll stay single. I know what I want, and one thing is for sure- settling for less is never an option.

29. People come and go.

It’s a sad reality, but that’s how it is. Life is constantly changing, and so are people. Most office friendships I’ve had were short-lived because most would be transferred to other departments, resign, or find an opportunity abroad. It was disheartening to see them leave until I was the only one in my group still working in the company. The same goes with my high school and college friends; most moved to another country, and we eventually grew apart. A few friends stayed, for which I’m genuinely grateful.

Not everyone we meet is meant to stay, and that’s okay. While people come and go, new ones will come, some of whom may stay long or be meant to teach us a lesson.

30. Nurture your inner child.

Being an adult is never easy. Our responsibilities and anxiety never seem to end because of work, family, relationships, and so on. That’s why I think nurturing our inner child balances this chaos. It reminds us to take time to have fun, relax, and be in touch with our authentic selves. My parents are almost pushing 60, but their energy screams young, and I think it’s because they are always in touch with their inner child. Age is truly just a number, and nurturing our inner child lets us find happiness even in the simple things.

31. Live in the moment.

During my twenties, I’ve always dwelled in the past and looked forward to the future- that I forgot to live in the present. I didn’t realize that time was passing, and instead of feeling fulfilled and satisfied, I felt lost and unsure. When I decided to live in the present and focus on what I currently have, I found peace and many good things started to happen. Learn to live in the moment and let go of worries about the future or regrets about your past. What’s done is done, and who knows if we will live again tomorrow. Today is a gift, indeed, that’s why it’s called “present”.